Jacqui: 0:12

Greetings, listeners. Quick question for you. If you look back over this past week, how many little gifts of God did you just skip right over? Maybe you had a great cup of coffee. Or felt the warmth of the sun. We received a faultful text from a friend. Most of us don't even notice these moments because our lives are so loud. So with that in mind, today we're talking about faithfulness. And what that can say when you host a lot of small things to say. Thank you for this. And to help us thinkfully, we have a very special guest for us today. Well, welcome everyone. I'm your host, Jacqui Adewole, and this is the Bible basics podcast, where every two weeks we break down the basics of the Bible into understandable bite-sized chunks. So, if you've been busy one hour or just running on E, I think this conversation about giving thanks will really encourage you. And as my very special guest today, I'm bringing on Olaolu Adewole, my husband. He is my rock. And he's the love of my life. He prefers to stay in the background, but he agreed to join in today because of how this topic really speaks to both of us. Baby, thanks for joining. Can you start by introducing yourself and maybe sharing a moment from your life that really shaped how you think about thankfulness?

Olaolu: 2:10

Well, thank you very much. The Mrs. Jacqueline Gail Adewole. It's um blessing many people globally. Um I see many people all over the world tune in and listen. And we've got very good feedback about the blessings that the various topics have been to many. So thank you. And thanks for saying yes to God to do this. The question is, I should introduce myself and sharing one moment from my life that's shaped how I think about thankfulness. Um that's not difficult, but let me tell you about myself first. Uh, I'm 61 years old, and um I give my life to Christ at a very young age when I was in what we call secondary school, which is junior high here in the US. Um I think of myself in that framework that's um a disciple of Jesus Christ, um, and prefer to let the Holy Spirit lead the way I live my life, not just on Sunday, but as long as I have breath, I want God to be in the driver's seat of my life. Um so I'm a Nigerian American, born in Nigeria, came to the US um a little over 34 years ago, um, naturalized American, um, third of seven children. I am married, as you can probably guess, and um have two adult children. I have had a very diverse education. So I am an electrical engineer for my undergrad. I've also taken graduate studies. I do have a master's in divinity, so I've done some seminary education. Professionally, I have worked in management consulting, banking, information technology, and I've done a lot of things. Uh, manufacturing. But in all this, I just want to believe that I did the best that God allowed me to do. Um, in my life's third quarter, and my focus right now is on living a legacy and living a grateful life. So I'm especially thankful to share my perspectives on gratitude on this podcast. As for one moment in my life that shapes how I think about thankfulness, it's gonna be hard because I've had very, very many life-shaping moments. And uh it's hard to choose anyone because a lot of them are moments I will never forget. Um, some that have to do with life and death. But my life story itself screams gratitude. Um, I sometimes have to pinch myself when I think about what life looks like for me today and what it looked like 50, 60 years ago. Um, I it wasn't like I was born into any means. I was born in a small rural town in Nigeria. And from the very beginning, God has opened doors that he wanted for me and closed doors that he didn't want for me. So I'm blessed. I I have a lot. I I would I'm not I'm not passing off the question. I just would hate to narrow my gratitude to one experience because there are very, very many.

Jacqui: 6:13

Okay, that's understandable. No problem with that. But just tell us then when you just when you think of thankfulness, what comes to mind, what does it mean to you?

Olaolu: 6:24

What comes to my mind first is knowing that I am a child of God and that when everything is over on this side, I am it's not even a hope. I have a solid ironclad conviction that I have eternal life, that um I will spend eternity with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in heaven. That's I'm thankful for because I did not do anything to earn it. I simply put my trust in God, knowing that when I breathe my last on this end, I will be entering into an eternal life that's on ending with someone who is perfect, someone who is all powerful, someone who essentially defines what life needs to be like. Um for me. So that's the first thing that comes to mind. That's as beautiful, as blessed, as challenging sometimes, and as varied as my life has been on this end, eternal life is so much higher than that. Um, and I guess I will use my first scripture. I the Bible says, eyes have not seen, and ears have not heard, neither has entered into the hearts of man what God has prepared for those who love him and those who have put their faith in him. I literally believe every word in that scripture, meaning that no matter how smart you are, no matter how great your life has been, you cannot imagine the glory and the beauty of what God has prepared for those who have put their faith in him. So that's for me my foundation cause for thankfulness.

Jacqui: 8:25

That's good. That's good, baby. Let me um, well, let me share another scripture with you. Um, 1 Thessalonians 5.18. It says, give thanks in all circumstances. A lot of people hear that and think it means you just go about pretending everything is fine. How do you make sense of a verse like this in real life?

Olaolu: 8:46

The way that makes sense. That's uh I actually like that question because I think many times when we hear some scriptures, the way we understand it often shapes our reaction to it. Uh, what it says, give thanks in all circumstances. That's what it says. It didn't say give thanks for all circumstances. So the um word in and for is where I want to drive on here. When I'm giving thanks, I'm not giving thanks for things or for situations. I'm giving thanks to God. I'm saying, God, my gratitude is not based on whether I like what is happening or not. My gratitude is because you are the greatest that there is, and I know that when this season concludes, there will be no regret for me. So I'm not thinking, because many times we we're human beings, we feel pain, we get disappointed. And God is not asking us to pretend to be happy where we are not, but he's saying, be thankful that I have you, that I've got you covered, and there's nothing that would happen to you, or nothing that you will lose that will compare to what I have for you. So, what comes to mind when I hear First Thessalonians 5.18 is gratitude to God that He's with me. It doesn't mean I'm dancing or rejoicing because I lost or because I'm in pain or because I'm sick. No. I'm saying I'm glad that in my sickness God has me. I'm saying that in even in this blessing, I am more grateful that God blessed me much more than I'm joyful that I have the blessing. So it's my gratitude, it's God focused, not material focused or emotion focused. That's what comes to mind for me.

Jacqui: 11:08

Okay. Um let's let's just dig, drill down on that a little bit. So, what makes what helps you stay focused on gratefulness or stay grounded when it feels easier to focus on the things that are going wrong? A few things.

Olaolu: 11:25

So I, like I said, I've had a very exciting life in 61 years, and I've seen things change. I've seen many seasons change. And my conclusion and my belief is that things and stuff have no enduring value. Um, I've had some really, really amazing experiences. I've traveled a lot. Uh I've owned some really amazing things that I was glad to have. I was glad that God blessed me with those things. But I don't, the joy I had when I got that brand new car has I'm not, I'm still not working on those clouds today because of the car. So because I know that things have no enduring value, and on the negative side, too, pain and disappointments do not have enduring value. So that helps me to focus on God. The only one that I know has not changed for me is God. God has been faithful through every season of life for me. And if I if I can help somebody to look at their life in that framework, I would definitely know that I've been helpful. Too many of us base our emotions and our worldview and our relationships on things that don't endure, things that um don't even last a moment, much less a lifetime. Uh, every one of us can remember something that we thought, oh, if I only got that thing, I'll be happy the rest of my life. And then you got it. And a few days later, you set it aside. Let's think of children. In a few weeks, we'll have Christmas. And many of our children are going to get Christmas gifts. So on Christmas morning, they're excited to open those gifts, and they don't even have time for anybody. They're playing with the gifts or the toys. But give them two or three days, and you're gonna find that toy under some chair in the living room. They're gonna walk past that toy, like that wasn't a toy that they were jumping up and down about two days earlier. And that's just the way it is, even with us adults. We we feel that if we if we have a certain blessing, that that's gonna be all that we need. But God says our life does not consist in the abundance of things through gratitude, true gratitude, real gratitude comes in God, in our relationship with God. That is the greatest blessing. Uh, let me um also frame it in this way you know, there is um when we look at our relationships, we need to look beyond how people make us feel to the blessing that those people are in our lives, because it could be very different. And if God cancels worthy to have relationships, we should honor him by being grateful and not abusing that privilege and that blessing. So, yeah. So, in in short, I think we need to move and discipline ourselves away from basing our gratitude on feelings and on things and basing um anchoring them in our relationship with God.

Jacqui: 15:07

Be thankful just for him. Yes. For being his child. Although for somebody who's listening, who wants to really grow in thankfulness. They're identifying and listening to what you're saying, but they just don't know where to start. Are there some simple or practical steps you might recommend they do? You know, maybe some small things somebody can do today?

Olaolu: 15:33

I would say that they need to honestly ask themselves how much they have allowed material fans to control the way they feel. Um, we need to dial back our addiction to materialist material things or uh the the happy feeling. I'm not saying that people should be sad, but I'm saying we should not place our joy or our feeling in things or whether things appear nice to us or not, but we should place it in our identity that do I know God? Uh let me let me kind of expand this a little bit. So when you look at yourself, the air that you breathe, I don't think anybody ever got a bill for the air that they breathe. But you know that if you don't have air, you don't exist. So, shouldn't we be more thankful for those things that are really life or death than for the shiny new car in the driveway? So that's the I I I I I hope that framing it in that sense helps us to navigate that. So the short answer is let's dial back our addiction to things and feelings and let's cultivate a mindset that says, I need to have a relationship with my creator and the one who didn't just make me, the one who enables me to have life and has prepared a place for me when this life is over. I think if we frame our life and our worldview on that, it will help us to be thankful even when things are not going right.

Jacqui: 17:32

Agree. One of the things I do is when I first wake up, I thank God. Thank God for waking me up, but also thank him for the day that's ahead of me, no matter what happens during that day. Good things, things not so good. Just thanking him for allowing me to go forward and experience whatever he has in store for me that day. Um, are there any habits that you might use to stay thankful? Do you write things down, say things out loud? Um do you stop during the day to notice, notice something good?

Olaolu: 18:10

Uh before I answer your question, honey, I I would I like to I have some favorite jokes that I have just told the records of my life. So there was a there was a message. There was a there was a message I heard many, many years ago. And this preacher said, if you think that your alarm clock woke you up, take your alarm clock to the graveside, to the cemetery, and let's see how many people wake up in that cemetery. That's good. That's good. If you believe that your alarm clock is what woke you up, or that you woke up by yourself, just take your alarm clock to a cemetery, set it on any time, and see how many people get up from the grave. He said it in a funny way, but there was uh there was a deep and poignant lesson in that because we take things for granted. We take it for granted that we lay down to sleep. An alarm clock or no alarm clock, uh, mind me, I have nothing wrong with uh against alarm clocks. I believe they have their purpose, but the trust is not in the alarm clock. Because I know the alarm clock can go off as it often does, and I don't hear it, and I'm still sleeping. So I know that it there's a greater grace that made me hear the alarm clock, and an even greater grace that allowed me to get up from that bed. And that's where that's that's where I really would challenge us to put our gratitude. Not thanking, yeah, thanking God for the alarm clock, but thanking God, with or without the alarm clock. So, to your question, do I write things down? Yes, I thank God for the small things and the big things. And sometimes I just say thank you, God, even for the things that I'm not even aware of, because I know that whether I'm aware of it or not, you are working on my behalf. Uh like I said, I've had many experiences where I know that it was God that made the difference. And I know that there are probably, not probably, there are many more blessings that God has poured into my life that I'm not even aware of. Um the the religious word that people use for it is favor. I have been in situations where every criteria, I did not qualify for it. And yet God made it possible. That's grace, that's favor. And for that I'm thankful. Um, and I I I really think that whether we're young, old, male or female, we need to look at our life in that perspective that there's someone who is unconditionally committed and working for our good. And that person is God. And all he asks is that we have a grateful heart. So I write things down, but if I write 10 things down, I'm sure God has blessed me with a million things that I'm not even aware of.

Jacqui: 21:21

Absolutely. Wow, although this is this is great. Very inspiring. Before we wrap up, how do you feel about talking about our home life a little bit and maybe sharing how thankfulness may have shaped our marriage?

Olaolu: 21:37

That's uh, yes, I definitely want to do that. I believe that gratitude is an expression of love. And I want us to pause for a minute to think about that. When we say thank you to our spouses, we're acknowledging that they have done and they have been to us what we could not have been and done for ourselves. And in our marriage, I know we have a culture of gratitude. We don't pause and wait for each other to say thank you. And I think that has been helpful, that we're grateful for one another. So gratitude in our marriage, in our home, is one way that we express love for one another. So I'd make this a little bit less mysterious. You know, when you say you appreciate somebody, that's so gratitude, appreciation are synonymous. But you can't have a healthy marriage if you don't appreciate your spouse. For the things they do, but for just for who they are, that you are grateful. So in our marriage, we're grateful to each other. Another way that our marriage has been helped is that we don't say thank you just for the big things, even for the small things. Uh, I don't think gratitude should be limited to those earth-shaking things, like, oh, you made a great meal, so I'm grateful. But even the fact that you you chose a colour for something with me in mind is something I should be grateful for. The fact that you made a phone call for me, or the fact that you did something just because, and those are things that are for me, they're data points in our marriage that I'm grateful for, and I thank God for that. Thank you. I believe I say thank you a lot during the course of it. Not just to you, but I thank God for you and for you in my life. The third thing that's to give a window into our marriage to the audience is I know that you, Jackie, are God's blessing to me. And I hope that I am a blessing to you from God. And I don't like sounding too spiritual. I like to, because I believe that this relationship we have with God is as real as the best reality we have. Uh the fact is, you and I were members of the same church for years and we never crossed paths. But it was when God knew that the time was right, that's when He opened that channel between us. So that for me makes me know that you are God's blessing for me. Because sometimes we we take that for granted. And when I think of you, when I look at you, I see I'm grateful that God blessed me in such a rich way. In that same vein, I'm also very conscious of the fact that not everyone has a happy marriage. Just because you are a Christian doesn't mean that you have a happy marriage. That would be another podcast. But if you are a marriage thinking that it's about you, you're essentially guaranteeing that you will not have a happy marriage. But if you have a mindset of gratitude, you say, God, I thank you for blessing me with this daughter of yours or this son of yours. You are putting yourself on a path of growth into a healthy marriage because you are seeing your spouse and your marriage in a God framework, which, from what we have said in this podcast so far, I have tried to help us to look at even those material blessings in our lives as God's hand, not stuff that we should allow to drive our feelings. So, yes. Um, I am thankful that God blessed me with you. I'm also thankful that God did not allow our marriage to be sadly what many people go through in marriage. So it's it's definitely a joy to be married to you. So I'm thankful for that. And the final thing about our marriage is I know that I need you in my life. You know, too often gratitude is difficult when we don't accept our need. You know, if you if you it's hard to be grateful if you feel that something is an option for you. And I can say, I mean, I've said it to you before, but I can say to the world that yes, I need you in my life. And I'm thankful that you agree to be a part of my life. That's that's gratitude. The fact that we need each other, and that if you are not present in my life, my life would not be anywhere near what it is. So that's um that's uh four data points that I hope blesses somebody that I hope and I'm committed to continue to cultivate and treasure as long as God gives us breath. Uh and I want to re just recount that. Using gratitude as an expression of my love for you, to to be thankful, to say it, to act it, to demonstrate it that I'm grateful as my way of speaking love. Not to limit my gratitude to the big things, to think, to be to express gratitude for small and big things. And thirdly, to know that God, in his uh abundant grace, chose to bless me with you should make me grateful. And finally, I know that I need you in my life, and I'm grateful for that. So that's um that's uh I'll shut the window now, so I hope the world got a good tip of our marriage.

Jacqui: 28:20

Wow, I'm a bit overwhelmed. Thank you. Thank you so much, Ola. Thank you. So, with that, before we close, I want to ask you, sir, do you have any closing comments that you'd like to share with our audience on this topic of gratitude?

unknown: 28:44

Yeah.

Olaolu: 28:45

Thank you. Um to the world's um the Bible basics podcaster. But to me, my dear wife, Mrs. Jacqueline Gail Adewole, thank you very much again for the opportunity to be uh a guest on this podcast. And um to your question, I do have three parting uh uh nuggets I want to leave with us, even in this season of Thanksgiving. The first one is for you to have a discrete set of relationships that you prioritize God, your spouse, your family. Be intentional about gratitude. So have specific relationships that you give priority to. That's the first practical nugget I want to leave us with. For me, I prioritize my relationship with God, I prioritize my wife, I prioritize my family. The second nugget I want to leave with us is that we should have a willingness to. To make sacrifices for each other. The Bible says it is more blessed to give than to receive. The principle of God's creation is when we give, God ensures that what comes back to us is much more than what we gave. So when you give thanks, you know, it's interesting that the word give is in thanksgiving. It's not thanks taking. It's a thanksgiving for a reason. Because when you give thanks, it's an expression of sacrifice. Like I said, it's an acknowledgement that God, your spouse, your loved ones are doing for you what you could never have done for yourself. So be willing to make those sacrifices because they are investments. And the third one is understand that you only have a short time. Dead bodies don't say thank you. This is the moment. Understand this is the time to say thank you. Yes, enjoy the turkey over Thanksgiving. Enjoy the lovely cooking, but pick up the phone and call someone to say, I just want to thank you. Walk up to that family member and say, I just want to thank you. Those are the three nuggets I want to leave with us. Have relationships that are priority to you. Two think more of giving than taking. Be very sacrificial in your relationship. And thirdly, understand that the time is running out. And you can only give thanks when you can.

Jacqui: 31:53

Thank you. Thank you so much, Ola. Thank you so much. This has been so valuable. Until your last point, I was in a class last week, and the facilitator challenged everyone in the class to send a text or email to someone just thanking them. It doesn't necessarily have to be a thank you for something you did yesterday or today, but just to thank them for being in your life, for thanking them maybe for something that they did, something small that typically people might overlook. But I like that point that you made that now is the time, that this isn't something we put off, that we need to express our appreciation, our gratefulness, our gratitude today. Thank you again. You're very welcome. And listeners, if this conversation encouraged you, share it with somebody you're grateful for today. And make sure you follow this podcast so you don't miss any of the upcoming episodes. But until then, keep reading, keep seeking, and keep growing in your faith. Thank you. Thank you.